My Understandings
by BunBunC
Summary: The first time Eren has a proper meeting with Levi, it's after having the shit beat from him.


The first time Eren has a proper meeting with Levi, it's after having the shit beat from him.

Eren never resented him, though. He admired his superior, very much in fact. He admired his skills on the battle field, and his adoration for his squad. Eren felt lucky to be in the hands of someone who really cares.

The first time Eren has a proper taste of Levi, they're sitting at the top of the headquarters. Levi doesn't have to speak, because the brunette knows. He knows how much it hurts to have all your friends taken from you in a single day, and how awful it is to know that you could have been there with them. Hell, Eren felt awful as well, he couldn't get the images of their dead bodies from his mind.

There's a strained tone in Levi's voice, when he speaks of all the shenanigans the squad would get up to. The time they all kept the cleaning supplies on the highest shelves, when they replaced his tea with awful muddy water they got from a nearby stream, and the time when they'd all surprised Levi on his birthday with a simple gift. A small framed picture of them all, sitting right on the desk back below.

Eren can only listen and nod, but when Levi stops speaking in trade for quiet tears rolling down his face, he pulls his superior closer in a warm hug, muttering "It'll be okay, sir," Until the small hours of morning began to show. When the two had decided to head back in, Levi brought Eren to his Levi to lend a small kiss on his lips, a peck of gratitude.

The first time Eren realized he loved Levi, it was a winter night where the fires had gone out and Eren was curled in his covers, dozing off at occasions. He awoke properly when the door opened, revealing a shadowy figure strolling towards him after closing the door, crawling into the empty spot next to him. Nothing had to be spoken, because when Eren felt the arms wrap around his waist, and the face of Humanity's Strongest buried in the crook of his neck, he knew.

_I love you_, was an unspoken mutual agreement between the two.

The first time Eren is truly content with everything, is when Levi slipped a gold band on his ring finger, muttering in a low tone something in French, then leaning over to kiss Eren. He was maybe nineteen then, still fighting the war that took lives every day. The boy, now truly a man, taller and more defined, having grown his hair out more and tied back in a small pony tail, kissed his lover back with a smile. The last thing he'd muttered was "Yes," before they were on the bed, clothes strewn every which way, and rocking bodies together at a slow pace. Kisses were sweet, and 'I love you' was said too many times for count and a strangled groan when each man had reached their limit.

The first time Eren knows what _'widowed'_ fully means, is when he's staring at Levi laying on the ground, breaths short and blood staining his entire body. He was twenty two now, and the war was almost over. Just a little longer, a few more hours and everything would be okay.

Eren is crouching now, holding on to Levi's hands and trying not to sob, trying so hard not to sob and scream and lose control, muttering in low French he'd learned just for Levi, two years of practice and lectures from Hanji, just to impress him. Levi's breaths are coming in shorter, and he's squeezing Eren's hand with what little strength he has left. There's blood, there's blood everywhere and it looks so awful against the white clothes they wore.

"Eren," Levi managed to say reaching over to cusp his face.

"Levi…" Eren manages to choke out, tears stinging his eyes.

"_Je t'aime_," Levi gives a final smile, before taking his last breath and releasing the grip he'd had. Eren was cradling Levi now, screaming and sobbing as loud as he could, he would kill them all. Kill them all, leave nothing behind.

The first time Eren can't feel a thing anymore, is when he's kneeling down a few hours later, neck exposed and Mikasa readying the blade. He asked for Mikasa to do it, giving her a final hug goodbye and kissing her head. She'd managed to make it into the higher rankings, while Armin became commander after Erwin's pass two years ago. Armin hated to give the final call, but before Eren had kneeled down, he told him that Eren was everything, that he loved him, and he'll see him in many years from then.

When the blade comes down, Eren whispers a final line, smiling as his death reached his eyes.

"_Thank you, Levi. I'm home now_."


End file.
